Some People Play Too Much...the WEEI Edition

Every now and again I reflect on those among us who play too much...people whose shenanigans, statements or actions reflect their disregard for common sense...or just generally amuse me.

Yeah, I have a pink hat, and what? You wanna make something of it? For those of you in the cheap seats,“pink hat” is a derogatory term for female sports fans who are assumed to be uneducated about their team or bandwagon fans. I actually have three pink hats (Sox, Celts and Pats - the Bruins are a lost cause). You play too much if you think a cute hat speaks to my sports knowledge.

Manny Ramirez…We see you, but, guess what? The Sox made the playoffs last night. So you and Joe Torre run along now. Red Sox nation has NOT forgotten about your shenanigans and if you think we have, you play too much.

Eric Mangini is a snitch. And if you think he's not, you play too much. The only reason he knew what was going on was because he used to and I bet still does the same thing.

Roger Clemens was disappointed that he was not recognized at the Yankee Stadium ceremonies. *chuckle* Really? I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t be. He plays too much.

If Randy Moss thinks he can come around with a funky attitude or any of his other histrionics and Belichick is going to put up with it, he plays too much. I hope he continues to drink the Kraft kool-aid and tows the line.

Is Paul Pierce STILL celebrating the Celtics victory? Quit it out, Paul, its time to train. Don't disappoint me and play too much! I’m all for celebrations, but its time to start the quest to defend the title.

Matt Cassel isn’t Tom Brady. If you think he is, you play too much.

But you can’t blame Cassel for this week’s loss to the Fins. The defense was playing entirely too much … actually, they weren’t playing AT ALL. If they were, they would have stopped Ronnie Brown, at least ONCE!

Brett Favre plays too much if he thought the JETS would get him back to the Superbowl.

The Red Sox make the playoffs…the Yankees do NOT. If you think the tide hasn’t shifted since 2004…well, you play too much.

Jamie Silva made the Colts roster. Those of you who didn’t believe play entirely too much and those of you who don’t know who I’m talking about don’t like a good local kid made good story.

Ellis Hobbs didn't like that fans booed or left early on Sunday. Oh really? Apparently he's never tried to get out of that parking lot after a game. And you know what? He plays too much if he thinks the team's play (or lack thereof) didn't deserve some display of disgust.

38-13. It was one game....Its not over. If you think it is, you play too much and probably wear a pink hat.

The personification of Dr. King's Dream, in his own words.

Thursday, August 28, 2008 at 010:00 PM

To Chairman Dean and my great friend Dick Durbin; and to all my fellow citizens of this great nation;

With profound gratitude and great humility, I accept your nomination for the presidency of the United States.

Let me express my thanks to the historic slate of candidates who accompanied me on this journey, and especially the one who traveled the farthest - a champion for working Americans and an inspiration to my daughters and to yours -- Hillary Rodham Clinton. To President Clinton, who last night made the case for change as only he can make it; to Ted Kennedy, who embodies the spirit of service; and to the next Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden, I thank you. I am grateful to finish this journey with one of the finest statesmen of our time, a man at ease with everyone from world leaders to the conductors on the Amtrak train he still takes home every night.

To the love of my life, our next First Lady, Michelle Obama, and to Sasha and Malia - I love you so much, and I'm so proud of all of you.

Four years ago, I stood before you and told you my story - of the briefu nion between a young man from Kenya and a young woman from Kansas who weren't well-off or well-known, but shared a belief that in America, their son could achieve whatever he put his mind to.

It is that promise that has always set this country apart - that through hard work and sacrifice, each of us can pursue our individual dreams but still come together as one American family, to ensure that the next generation can pursue their dreams as well.

That's why I stand here tonight. Because for two hundred and thirty two years, at each moment when that promise was in jeopardy, ordinary men and women - students and soldiers, farmers and teachers, nurses and janitors -- found the courage to keep it alive.

We meet at one of those defining moments - a moment when our nation is at war, our economy is in turmoil, and the American promise has been threatened once more.

Tonight, more Americans are out of work and more are working harder for less. More of you have lost your homes and even more are watching your home values plummet. More of you have cars you can't afford to drive, credit card bills you can't afford to pay, and tuition that's beyond your reach.

These challenges are not all of government's making. But the failure to respond is a direct result of a broken politics in Washington and the failed policies of George W. Bush.

America, we are better than these last eight years. We are a better country than this.

This country is more decent than one where a woman in Ohio, on the brink of retirement, finds herself one illness away from disaster after a lifetime of hard work.

This country is more generous than one where a man in Indiana has to pack up the equipment he's worked on for twenty years and watch it shipped off to China, and then chokes up as he explains how he felt like a failure when he went home to tell his family the news.

We are more compassionate than a government that lets veterans sleep on our streets and families slide into poverty; that sits on its hands while a major American city drowns before our eyes.

Tonight, I say to the American people, to Democrats and Republicans and Independents across this great land - enough! This moment - this election - is our chance to keep, in the 21st century, the American promise alive. Because next week, in Minnesota, the same party that brought you two terms of George Bush and Dick Cheney will ask this country for a third. And we are here because we love this country too much to let the next four years look like the last eight. On November 4th, we must stand up and say: "Eight is enough."

Now let there be no doubt. The Republican nominee, John McCain, has worn the uniform of our country with bravery and distinction, and for that we owe him our gratitude and respect. And next week, we'll also hear about those occasions when he's broken with his party as evidence that he can deliver the change that we need.

But the record's clear: John McCain has voted with George Bush ninety percent of the time. Senator McCain likes to talk about judgment, but really, what does it say about your judgment when you think George Bush has been right more than ninety percent of the time? I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to take a ten percent chance on change.

The truth is, on issue after issue that would make a difference in your lives - on health care and education and the economy - Senator McCain has been anything but independent. He said that our economy has made "great progress" under this President. He said that the fundamentals of the economy are strong. And when one of his chief advisors - the man who wrote his economic plan - was talking about the anxiety Americans are feeling, he said that we were just suffering from a "mental recession," and that we've become, and I quote, "a nation of whiners."

A nation of whiners? Tell that to the proud auto workers at a Michigan plant who, after they found out it was closing, kept showing up every day and working as hard as ever, because they knew there were people who counted on the brakes that they made. Tell that to the military families who shoulder their burdens silently as they watch their loved ones leave for their third or fourth or fifth tour of duty. These are not whiners. They work hard and give back and keep going without complaint. These are the Americans that I know.

Now, I don't believe that Senator McCain doesn't care what's going on in the lives of Americans. I just think he doesn't know. Why else would he define middle-class as someone making under five million dollars a year? How else could he propose hundreds of billions in tax breaks for big corporations and oil companies but not one penny of tax relief to more than one hundred million Americans? How else could he offer a health care plan that would actually tax people's benefits, or an education plan that would do nothing to help families pay for college, or a plan that would privatize Social Security and gamble your retirement?

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.

For over two decades, he's subscribed to that old, discredited Republican philosophy - give more and more to those with the most and hope that prosperity trickles down to everyone else. In Washington, they call this the Ownership Society, but what it really means is - you're on your own. Out of work? Tough luck. No health care? The market will fix it. Born into poverty? Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps - even if you don't have boots. You're on your own.

Well it's time for them to own their failure. It's time for us to change America.

You see, we Democrats have a very different measure of what constitutes progress in this country.

We measure progress by how many people can find a job that pays the mortgage; whether you can put a little extra money away at the end of each month so you can someday watch your child receive her college diploma. We measure progress in the 23 million new jobs that were created when Bill Clinton was President - when the average American family saw its income go up $7,500 instead of down $2,000 like it has under George Bush.

We measure the strength of our economy not by the number of billionaires we have or the profits of the Fortune 500, but by whether someone with a good idea can take a risk and start a new business, or whether the waitress who lives on tips can take a day off to look after a sick kid without losing her job - an economy that honors the dignity of work.

The fundamentals we use to measure economic strength are whether we are living up to that fundamental promise that has made this country great - a promise that is the only reason I am standing here tonight.

Because in the faces of those young veterans who come back from Iraq and Afghanistan, I see my grandfather, who signed up after Pearl Harbor, marched in Patton's Army, and was rewarded by a grateful nation with the chance to go to college on the GI Bill.

In the face of that young student who sleeps just three hours before working the night shift, I think about my mom, who raised my sister and me on her own while she worked and earned her degree; who once turned to food stamps but was still able to send us to the best schools in the country with the help of student loans and scholarships.

When I listen to another worker tell me that his factory has shut down, I remember all those men and women on the South Side of Chicago who I stood by and fought for two decades ago after the local steel plant closed.

And when I hear a woman talk about the difficulties of starting her own business, I think about my grandmother, who worked her way up from the secretarial pool to middle-management, despite years of being passed over for promotions because she was a woman. She's the one who taught me about hard work. She's the one who put off buying a new car or a new dress for herself so that I could have a better life. She poured everything she had into me. And although she can no longer travel, I know that she's watching tonight, and that tonight is her night as well.

I don't know what kind of lives John McCain thinks that celebrities lead, but this has been mine. These are my heroes. Theirs are the stories that shaped me. And it is on their behalf that I intend to win this election and keep our promise alive as President of the United States.

What is that promise?

It's a promise that says each of us has the freedom to make of our own lives what we will, but that we also have the obligation to treat each other with dignity and respect.

It's a promise that says the market should reward drive and innovation and generate growth, but that businesses should live up to their responsibilities to create American jobs, look out for American workers, and play by the rules of the road.

Ours is a promise that says government cannot solve all our problems, but what it should do is that which we cannot do for ourselves - protect us from harm and provide every child a decent education; keep our water clean and our toys safe; invest in new schools and new roads and new science and technology.

Our government should work for us, not against us. It should help us, not hurt us. It should ensure opportunity not just for those with the most money and influence, but for every American who's willing to work.

That's the promise of America - the idea that we are responsible for ourselves, but that we also rise or fall as one nation; the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper; I am my sister's keeper.

That's the promise we need to keep. That's the change we need right now. So let me spell out exactly what that change would mean if I am President.

Change means a tax code that doesn't reward the lobbyists who wrote it, but the American workers and small businesses who deserve it.

Unlike John McCain, I will stop giving tax breaks to corporations that ship jobs overseas, and I will start giving them to companies that create good jobs right here in America.

I will eliminate capital gains taxes for the small businesses and the start-ups that will create the high-wage, high-tech jobs of tomorrow.

I will cut taxes - cut taxes - for 95% of all working families. Because in an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle-class.

And for the sake of our economy, our security, and the future of our planet, I will set a clear goal as President: in ten years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East.

Washington's been talking about our oil addiction for the last thirty years, and John McCain has been there for twenty-six of them. In that time, he's said no to higher fuel-efficiency standards for cars, no to investments in renewable energy, no to renewable fuels. And today, we import triple the amount of oil as the day that Senator McCain took office.

Now is the time to end this addiction, and to understand that drilling is a stop-gap measure, not a long-term solution. Not even close.

As President, I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clean coal technology, and find ways to safely harness nuclear power. I'll help our auto companies re-tool, so that the fuel-efficient cars of the future are built right here in America. I'll make it easier for the American people to afford these new cars. And I'll invest 150 billion dollars over the next decade in affordable, renewable sources of energy - wind power and solar power and the next generation of biofuels; an investment that will lead to new industries and five million new jobs that pay well and can't ever be outsourced.

America, now is not the time for small plans.

Now is the time to finally meet our moral obligation to provide every child a world-class education, because it will take nothing less to compete in the global economy. Michelle and I are only here tonight because we were given a chance at an education. And I will not settle for an America where some kids don't have that chance. I'll invest in early childhood education. I'll recruit an army of new teachers, and pay them higher salaries and give them more support. And in exchange, I'll ask for higher standards and more accountability. And we will keep our promise to every young American - if you commit to serving your community or your country, we will make sure you can afford a college education.

Now is the time to finally keep the promise of affordable, accessible health care for every single American. If you have health care, my plan will lower your premiums. If you don't, you'll be able to get the same kind of coverage that members of Congress give themselves. And as someone who watched my mother argue with insurance companies while she lay in bed dying of cancer, I will make certain those companies stop discriminating against those who are sick and need care the most.

Now is the time to help families with paid sick days and better family leave, because nobody in America should have to choose between keeping their jobs and caring for a sick child or ailing parent.

Now is the time to change our bankruptcy laws, so that your pensions are protected ahead of CEO bonuses; and the time to protect Social Security for future generations.

And now is the time to keep the promise of equal pay for an equal day's work, because I want my daughters to have exactly the same opportunities as your sons.

Now, many of these plans will cost money, which is why I've laid out how I'll pay for every dime - by closing corporate loopholes and tax havens that don't help America grow. But I will also go through the federal budget, line by line, eliminating programs that no longer work and making the ones we do need work better and cost less - because we cannot meet twenty-first century challenges with a twentieth century bureaucracy.

And Democrats, we must also admit that fulfilling America's promise will require more than just money. It will require a renewed sense of responsibility from each of us to recover what John F. Kennedy called our "intellectual and moral strength." Yes, government must lead on energy independence, but each of us must do our part to make our homes and businesses more efficient. Yes, we must provide more ladders to success for young men who fall into lives of crime and despair. But we must also admit that programs alone can't replace parents; that government can't turn off the television and make a child do her homework; that fathers must take more responsibility for providing the love and guidance their children need.

Individual responsibility and mutual responsibility - that's the essence of America's promise.

And just as we keep our promise to the next generation here at home, so must we keep America's promise abroad. If John McCain wants to have a debate about who has the temperament, and judgment, to serve as the next Commander-in-Chief, that's a debate I'm ready to have.

For while Senator McCain was turning his sights to Iraq just days after 9/11, I stood up and opposed this war, knowing that it would distract us from the real threats we face. When John McCain said we could just "muddle through" in Afghanistan, I argued for more resources and more troops to finish the fight against the terrorists who actually attacked us on 9/11, and made clear that we must take out Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants if we have them in our sights. John McCain likes to say that he'll follow bin Laden to the Gates of Hell - but he won't even go to the cave where he lives.

And today, as my call for a time frame to remove our troops from Iraq has been echoed by the Iraqi government and even the Bush Administration, even after we learned that Iraq has a $79 billion surplus while we're wallowing in deficits, John McCain stands alone in his stubborn refusal to end a misguided war.

That's not the judgment we need. That won't keep America safe. We need a President who can face the threats of the future, not keep grasping at the ideas of the past.

You don't defeat a terrorist network that operates in eighty countries by occupying Iraq. You don't protect Israel and deter Iran just by talking tough in Washington. You can't truly stand up for Georgia when you've strained our oldest alliances. If John McCain wants to follow George Bush with more tough talk and bad strategy, that is his choice - but it is not the change we need.

We are the party of Roosevelt. We are the party of Kennedy. So don't tell me that Democrats won't defend this country. Don't tell me that Democrats won't keep us safe. The Bush-McCain foreign policy has squandered the legacy that generations of Americans -- Democrats and Republicans - have built, and we are here to restore that legacy.

As Commander-in-Chief, I will never hesitate to defend this nation, but I will only send our troops into harm's way with a clear mission and a sacred commitment to give them the equipment they need in battle and the care and benefits they deserve when they come home.

I will end this war in Iraq responsibly, and finish the fight against al Qaeda and the Taliban in Afghanistan. I will rebuild our military to meet future conflicts. But I will also renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and curb Russian aggression. I will build new partnerships to defeat the threats of the 21st century: terrorism and nuclear proliferation; poverty and genocide; climate change and disease. And I will restore our moral standing, so that America is once again that last, best hope for all who are called to the cause of freedom, who long for lives of peace, and who yearn for a better future.

These are the policies I will pursue. And in the weeks ahead, I look forward to debating them with John McCain.

But what I will not do is suggest that the Senator takes his positions for political purposes. Because one of the things that we have to change in our politics is the idea that people cannot disagree without challenging each other's character and patriotism.

The times are too serious, the stakes are too high for this same partisan playbook. So let us agree that patriotism has no party. I love this country, and so do you, and so does John McCain. The men and women who serve in our battlefields may be Democrats and Republicans and Independents, but they have fought together and bled together and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a Red America or a Blue America - they have served the United States of America.

So I've got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first.

America, our work will not be easy. The challenges we face require tough choices, and Democrats as well as Republicans will need to cast off the worn-out ideas and politics of the past. For part of what has been lost these past eight years can't just be measured by lost wages or bigger trade deficits. What has also been lost is our sense of common purpose - our sense of higher purpose. And that's what we have to restore.

We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country. The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals. I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in the hospital and to live lives free of discrimination. Passions fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers. This too is part of America's promise - the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort.

I know there are those who dismiss such beliefs as happy talk. They claim that our insistence on something larger, something firmer and more honest in our public life is just a Trojan Horse for higher taxes and the abandonment of traditional values. And that's to be expected. Because if you don't have any fresh ideas, then you use stale tactics to scare the voters. If you don't have a record to run on, then you paint your opponent as someone people should run from.

You make a big election about small things.

And you know what - it's worked before. Because it feeds into the cynicism we all have about government. When Washington doesn't work, all its promises seem empty. If your hopes have been dashed again and again, then it's best to stop hoping, and settle for what you already know.

I get it. I realize that I am not the likeliest candidate for this office. I don't fit the typical pedigree, and I haven't spent my career in the halls of Washington.

But I stand before you tonight because all across America something is stirring. What the nay-sayers don't understand is that this election has never been about me. It's been about you.

For eighteen long months, you have stood up, one by one, and said enough to the politics of the past. You understand that in this election, the greatest risk we can take is to try the same old politics with the same old players and expect a different result. You have shown what history teaches us - that at defining moments like this one, the change we need doesn't come from Washington. Change comes to Washington. Change happens because the American people demand it - because they rise up and insist on new ideas and new leadership, a new politics for a new time.

America, this is one of those moments.

I believe that as hard as it will be, the change we need is coming. Because I've seen it. Because I've lived it. I've seen it in Illinois, when we provided health care to more children and moved more families from welfare to work. I've seen it in Washington, when we worked across party lines to open up government and hold lobbyists more accountable, to give better care for our veterans and keep nuclear weapons out of terrorist hands.

And I've seen it in this campaign. In the young people who voted for the first time, and in those who got involved again after a very long time. In the Republicans who never thought they'd pick up a Democratic ballot, but did. I've seen it in the workers who would rather cut their hours back a day than see their friends lose their jobs, in the soldiers who re-enlist after losing a limb, in the good neighbors who take a stranger in when a hurricane strikes and the floodwaters rise.

This country of ours has more wealth than any nation, but that's not what makes us rich. We have the most powerful military on Earth, but that's not what makes us strong. Our universities and our culture are the envy of the world, but that's not what keeps the world coming to our shores.

Instead, it is that American spirit - that American promise - that pushes us forward even when the path is uncertain; that binds us together in spite of our differences; that makes us fix our eye not on what is seen, but what is unseen, that better place around the bend.

That promise is our greatest inheritance. It's a promise I make to my daughters when I tuck them in at night, and a promise that you make to yours - a promise that has led immigrants to cross oceans and pioneers to travel west; a promise that led workers to picket lines, and women to reach for the ballot.

And it is that promise that forty five years ago today, brought Americans from every corner of this land to stand together on a Mall in Washington, before Lincoln's Memorial, and hear a young preacher from Georgia speak of his dream.

The men and women who gathered there could've heard many things. They could've heard words of anger and discord. They could've been told to succumb to the fear and frustration of so many dreams deferred.

But what the people heard instead - people of every creed and color, from every walk of life - is that in America, our destiny is inextricably linked. That together, our dreams can be one.

"We cannot walk alone," the preacher cried. "And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back."

America, we cannot turn back. Not with so much work to be done. Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for. Not with an economy to fix and cities to rebuild and farms to save. Not with so many families to protect and so many lives to mend. America, we cannot turn back. We cannot walk alone. At this moment, in this election, we must pledge once more to march into the future. Let us keep that promise - that American promise - and in the words of Scripture hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we confess.

Thank you, God Bless you, and God Bless the United States of America.

A dream realized...

Tonight is most likely the defining political moment of my generation. On this, the 45th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s historic I Have a Dream speech, Barack Obama is the personification of the dreams and hope of the civil rights movement. He is one of Dr. King's dreams. He will be the Democratic party's presidential nominee. He may very well be this nation's president.

Dr. King made so many significant statements on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. And this one resonates with me tonight:

"But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice."

Tonight is the night we as Americans cash that check Dr. King spoke of - It may have taken longer than he had hoped, but its time. As I watch the Democratic National Convention, I'm proud to see the progress the country has made. Its no longer a dream, now, its YES WE CAN.

Disappearing Acts

I have this thing that I do, when I'm going through some emotions, especially as they relate to the one that got away. I watch Disappearing Acts - the HBO adaptation of Terry McMillan's book.

I'm always amazed at the parallels that can be drawn between my relationship with the one that got away and the relationship between Zora and Franklin in this story. And the bottom line is Zora and Franklin had to grow a long way alone before they could come back together. And even then, it was rocky on the good days - that resonates with me.

Of COURSE there is a reason I'm thinking about this now....you see, last night, me and J had a LONGGGGGGGGGG talk. I mean LONG. And it was the conversation I've wanted ALL this time. And even though this is the conversation I've wanted to have with him since we said good bye on the steps of his dorm, I'm more excited, scared and confused than ever before.

It started early in the afternoon with a few text messages to the tune of "why are you so scared to be with me". (Side note: we've been cool and keeping in contact most of the summer - right when I stopped hoping for anything, typical.) And the texts ended with "we'll talk about this tonight". I figured it was about a 50/50 chance we actually would.

Well, we did. And it was the most difficult conversation we'd ever had. What was strange was I think it was harder for him than it was for me. He did all of the talking. He finally came clean about his thoughts, feelings and everything we have been through over the past almost 10 years. He was the one that was nervous. He told me I'm what he wants and that he's always sorta known I was the right one, but our timing was never right. We both know college was complicated, and looking back it would have NEVER worked given our hot headed personalities and the environment we were in.

But here we are now relationship-weary and we have both have spent a LOT of time looking for and finding love and its byproducts in all the wrong places. And for a time, we witnessed each other wandering into these wrong places.

He asked me, Do I love him? The answer, of course was yes. I've loved him for longer than I care to admit. I was honest with him, but he already knew the answer. I didn't bother to ask him the same thing. I already knew the answer, too. The thing is, my love for him really has been unconditional. I've stuck with him through it all, and it wasn't on some lovey-dovey type thing...it was loyalty, affection, protectiveness and a strange devotion that allowed both of us to stick it out, even when the other person was with someone else. It is somewhat crazy to think that we've always found our way back to each other, even after I though I'd never hear from him again.

We re-hashed a lot of our history...and a lot of the whys came out. Why we pushed each other away, why he disappears, why I'm scared to move forward with him.

The conversation was surreal - he was telling me everything I always thought that I wanted to hear - how much he cares about me, how he's known for awhile I was the one and how he wants us to try to make it work. He was cliche about it - in that way that I loved it and it made me cringe at the same time - we've been the epitome of "All I Need" and Bonnie and Clyde all these years.

Unfortunately, its not as easy as wanting each other. We aren't 22 years old anymore and he's disappeared countless times - and each time was worse than the last. We both have our ways and since we know each other SO well, we already know a lot - maybe too much about each other. He's moody, stubborn, difficult and proud. I'm stubborn, sarcastic and like to be in control. We both would have to put a LOT to the side for this to work.

I have a decision to make - Is the fear of him disappearing again enough to make me not try? Or is the bond we have, despite its flaws, enough to make me go for it? At the end of Disappearing Acts, Franklin and Zora find their way back to each other, but you don't really know what happens next - we are just left to wonder.

I hope this is the end of me and J's Disappearing Acts. The question is, does it end here like the original, or will we write our own sequel?

Dear Summer...

Dear summer, I know you gon' miss me
For we been together like Nike Airs and crisp tees

Well, its that time of year again and Bleek's...well, wait, Jay's banger (side note - why was this on Bleek's CD and why was it the BEST cut on it?!?) is on my mind. Labor Day is around the corner and summer is drawing to a close. This summer has been very interesting and I've learned a lot, but its definitely time to bid a fond farewell to my favorite season.

I mean, it's time for me to grow
You gotta let me go baby, you gotta let me go

I've had to come to terms with some things, make some changes and look at who I am. This wasn't always pleasant or fun, but it was necessary.

This is the summer of my 30th year and I thought this year proved to be sorta like any other....until this summer. I've had to take a long, hard look at myself and those around me. And what I learned was this:

Not everyone is as perfect as I make them out to be. I need to take people OFF of the pedestals I put them on and allow them to just be. It is unreasonable for me to expect others not to make mistakes when I make them ALL the time. The people in my life are human and, shit happens.

On the flip side, I need to hold people and myself accountable for their/my actions. I can no longer brush things under the rug and let things go for the sake of peace and harmony. Some things HAVE to be addressed and more often than not, I'm not so good at that. I think I've gotten marginally better over the summer, but I've got a long way to go.

I have my faults, and at this point I'm not sure they are going to go anywhere, but I am sure I can work to minimize them. I won't expect others to improve unless I do.

I need to be real about some things. Everyone is not my friend and everyone is not meant to be in my life. I need to get better at recognizing that.

I got a good groove and I ain't trying to fuck my thing up

On a less serious note, I've had a BLAST - gotten closer to some phenomenal people, got to go to some great places and rekindled something that may just prove to be special. I've known this for awhile now, but this "monumental" 30th year showed me I have some great people in my life.

But on another note, 'bout to take another vaca'

This summer was NOT all about self evaluation and all that Dr. Phil shit. It was also a blast! Jamaica to DC to NO to Miami to DC...whew. Its time to sit down somewhere and relax a bit!

PIOYH year 3 was great... and I can't WAIT til the new and improved year 4.

DC proved interesting this summer and I allowed myself to get close to someone again. This is hard for me, but you know what, its a good thing, and it has me smiling and looking ahead in ways that I haven't in a VERY long time.

New Orleans was one of my favorite trips, EVER. I got closer to a phenomenal young lady - Ms. O and had a blast with my hispanical friend, who has grown even more dear to me. It was a vacation that won't soon be forgotten.

Miami...wow. I LOVE that city and realized there is no greater thing in life than laughter with friends.

My last visit to DC this summer was an eye opener in a lot of ways. If nothing else, it gave me insight onto a LOT of people in my life. And I don't say that in a negative way at all. I learned a tough exterior doesn't necessarily mean that a person can't or doesn't care. I learned everyone has a breaking point, even the strongest person. I also learned that even if someone is wrong, they don't deserve to be disrespected. I have a new respect for some folks and a new understanding of others. What may have started off shaky proved to be a productive weekend.

And with all of this in the history books...I welcome Fall. Its time to let things go, grow and move on...and embrace whatever the future has in store.

I'm done for now, so one for now
Possibly forever, we had fun together
But like all good things, we must come to an end
Please show the same love to my friends
Dear summer...

Greetings from Disqualification, Florida.

As many of you know, I'm an only child. However, there are a few people I consider my brothers. Two of them turn 30 this week. Happy Birthday Wins and Scotty! The family ventured down to Miami (forever and henceforth known as Disqualification, Florida) to celebrate their birthdays. The ENTIRE weekend was a blast. I don't think I've EVER laughed so hard, drank so much, partied like such a rock star or realized how great my friends truly were until this trip.

I'm not going to go into all the stories, like I did after NO, but I will mention some of the details...mostly for the benefit of those that went....

• I almost didn't make it at Wet Willies.
• The Wire, on location.
  
• Hole On. Hole On. Hole On.
• Is there an AARP discount at Diamonds?
  
• Ain't Irv Gotti broke? why is he in the strip club?
• MARCUS BANKS! is in the building. and was apparently following us ALL weekend long. Google him if you don't know who he is. I did.
• In a sea of unenthusiastic byches, there was one that LOVES her job and she got ALL our money. Get it, tip drill!
• Them hoes tired PAW PAW out....
• Screwdrivers are a splendid way to start your day.
• I'm all for sidewalk cafes, but why is the pigeon IN the restaurant?
  
• Bob, Billy, Kyle, Chad and Geoff. Whats up, dude?
• Who is you talkin to like that?
• Fidel Castro, the birthday boy.
• Weather and petty are directly linked.
• Library time.
• and talking....and talking....and talking....
• Bych, do you think you are Snoop Dogg at the VMAs?
• Velvet. in Miami. in August. okay.
  
• White Boy, is that YOU?!?! As I followed him up and THROUGH the club.
• Thank you, uncle lorenzo.
  
• PIOYH family reunion.
  
• Hole on...the liquor store delivers?!?!?!
• WHY ARE THESE MENUS SO BIG? AND LONG!
  
• Accoutrements.
  
• Reclinating.
• I can pick out the broads my brothers like even before they know broads are there.
• Even if they are the most boring broads in Miami.
  
• Poor pimpin and the chicken slaughter that ensued.
• Family Dinner.
  
• Olympic drinking games. UP!
• Ciroc,Family Sized.
• There are height restrictions to tables.
• thisa way....thatta way...
• DJ Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
  
• Being serenaded by grown man mario.
• Every song can be sung to to the tune of "I'm disqualified". Especially after family sized Ciroc.
  
• F!%# Y'all!

Bych, you ain't all that ANYWAY...

Never in my life have I witnessed a man flip the script so quickly. I was having an innocent IM conversation yesterday with a man I used to "talk to". His status message said he had an audition with Diddy. You see, he fashions himself a singer. I hit him up to wish him luck....here's a recreation of the convo...

Me: good luck on the audition
Him: Thanks baby, how u been, what u been up to
Me: good, working, doing a little bit of traveling.
Him: Where you been travelin to
Me: So far this summer Jamaica, DC, New Orleans and goin to Miami in a couple of weeks
Him: Oh that's good. U got pics for me?
Me: um Lol
Him: whats funny
Me: Nothin
Him: u miss me?
Me: um...
Him: What
Me: I know we havent talked in a while but um I'm seeing someone
Him: oh its like that?
Me: what do you mean?
Him: man whatever, u ain't all that shorty, don't let your head get big. you aight for an ugly broad.
Me: wow
Him: If I wanted you I would have had you.
Me: um ok, look, it doesn't have to be all this, and I just wanted to wish you luck on your audition. I hope you get yourself a deal.

*end of convo*

Seriously? i'm not all that, cuz I have a man? apparently, someone thinks I'm all that, or I'd STILL be single.

Slim get over yourself!

T dot S Vs. Verizon

I have been with Verizon Wireless since what may have been the advent of the cell phone or at least Verizon's cell service. In all of this time, I've never had a problem. Well, my precious moto Q became as disqualified as I was in New Orleans. I went to the Verizon store on Monday, and was told I had to call Technical Support. So I did, and they said they would have a replacement to me by Wednesday. OK, cool.

Well, then it was Thursday. The day AFTER my new Q was to arrive. Slightly annoyed, but happy it finally arrived, I opened up the box and started trying to sync up the new phone. Then I tried to charge it. It did NOT charge. I was LESS than amused. I called Technical Support, again on Friday, and they told me to go to the store. Mm. So I went to the store. At the store they tell me, oh you got a bad phone, this one is gonna have to be sent back.

Who the hell did he think he was dealing with? I'd been without a phone for 4 days, and then the replacement that arrived a day late was a lemon, and you tellin me I gotta do all this AGAIN??!?! oh no SIR!

I calmly let the young man know that if I didn't leave the Verizon store with a BRANDIE NEW Moto Q, he could cancel my service and I'd be going down the street to AT&T to get an iphone.

Well, magically, 5 minutes later the gentleman let me know that I'd be getting a BRANDIE NEW Q9c and all of my files/contacts would be transferred in 15 minutes.

I was QUITE proud of myself. Q Junior, Jr. is up and running and Verizon is still my service for two reasons - they don't make me call India for Customer Service and they respond to my threats well.

Birthdays on the Bayou...

I have recently returned from an AMAZING trip to New Orleans to celebrate Dawn and Onya's 30th Birthdays. This trip was a WHIRLWIND adventure and I loved (almost) every minute of it. Before I tell the stories, I want to say thank you to both Dawn and Onya for including me in their celebrations. It was truly a memorable experience. I've divided this tale into chapters - it seemed to work out well that way.

The long road to New Orleans.
I knew better, I did. As soon as I changed my ticket to fly with my brother Wins, I KNEW it was going to be a problem. So as angry as I was, I certainly was not surprised that we missed our flight or that he picked me up at 4:55am for a 6am flight. We sped out to the airport, only to be told "oh, that flight is gone". Mm. Fortunately we were re-routed and were able to get a flight at 2pm. So we lost the entire day in the city, but that's neither here nor there. We made it and I learned that I will never ever again in life coordinate my travel with my brother.
The Superdome.
Hurrican Katrina had a major impact on me. When the Superdome appeared on the horizon on our trip from the airport, I couldn't help but feel a certain kind of way - I was sad, I was a little angry and had something of a knot in my stomach. I will never forget the images of children and the elderly camped out around the dome, pleading for help. I hope no one ever forgets that, so that we can make sure it does not happen again.
Fried Catfish at the House of Blues.
First things first - Thanks, J, we had a BLAST! Wins and I kissed and made up and made our way the to HOB to see a friend and have some dinner. Oh my goodness. Fried Catfish nuggets and sweet potato french fries. *faint* Its not the typical N.O. food, but gracious, it was phenomenal, and the drinks were on point too. We met up with our friend Rick and his girlfriend Dee and decided to make our way down to Bourbon Street to find the birthday girls!
Bourbon Street Blues: Hand Grenades, Laotian Boys and the LONG walk for a hamburger.
We happened on down to Tropical Aisle - home of the tasty hand grenades - where we met up with one of the birthday girls, Ms. O. She was lookin phenomenal as usual and was glowing - it was apparent how loved she is in how many of her loved ones surrounded her throughout the weekend. After leaving Tropical Isle we made our way to Razoo, where we FINALLY found some hip hop. Around 12ish, my other travel buddy, Shy, announced she was at the hotel so, Rick, Dee and myself went to scoop her. Wait, that's not right. Dee was disqualified, so Rick was taking her home. In her defense, she was drinking on an empty stomach, so she gets ONE pass. Just one.
We scoop up Shy and head back to Bourbon, where we make our way to Hustler's Barely Legal Club. Yep, a strip club. I'm not quite sure whose idea this was, though it appears that our cruise director, John, was spear heading this little mission. I call John the cruise director because he seems to have thought it was his job to make sure everyone was enjoying themselves. Well, the ladies all got in free, and the gents had to pay (poor bastids). Once we were inside, it appeared not that these "ladies" were barely legal, but in fact they appeared to be 13 year old Laotian boys. Yuck. There was nothing sexy about most of them and they lacked in skill - AND they were point shaving, the poles SPUN! Needless to say, we left pretty expeditiously.
Our cruise director, John, then directed us to Masquerade, a club, that happened to be in the Harrah's Casino. Now, I should have known better, because on the shuttle ride to the hotel it was apparent that Harrah's was QUITE some distance from Bourbon Street. However, I was slightly disqualified, thanks to the 3 patron shots we did at the Laotian spot. So we walked. And walked. And WALKED. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the way to Harrahs. Somewhere along the line, even our cruise director, John went missing. Apparently, the walk was too much for him, too. We never QUITE made it to the club, hell me and Shy never made it past the Fuddruckers. But that $8.00 Hamburger was on POINT! After our burgers we got in a cab and went back to the hotel.
Cheers: Eggs and Vodka
Shy and I were FOCUSED. We were getting up to sit out by the pool on Saturday morning before the Culinary Tour. So at 9:30 am we pop up, get dressed and head out to find some breakfast. We found a little local hole in the wall, Deja Vu (henceforth known as Cheers). Not only was the egg sammich BANGIN, so were the drinks. Gina (that's not really her name, that's why Shy named she) hooked us UP with some early morning vodka cocktails. We would return to Cheers on the way out to the Culinary tour, on the way back, before we hit the club, and on our way BACK from the club. and that was just Saturday.
A Culinary Tour of New Orleans....heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy.
After stopping past Cheers for shots and a to go cup, Wins, Shy and myself made our way to O and Dawn's hotel. On the way, I had apparently made a new friend, Orlando, I asked him how to get to their hotel and in the process he decided he liked me.
We embarked on the tour, only to discover that Shy and I were disqualified from our little stop at Cheers. The tour took us around the French Quarter to some historic spots, and while the food was GREAT and the history was amazing, I remember the fun and COMEDY we had along the way (O fell off the curb thanks to Shy's shenanigans, Daddy O scolding me, etc.). I remember Elton, our tour guide (what does a gay horse eat? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY) and PANK P-A-N-K PANK! And last, but certainly not least, there was our beverage break.
Patron shots: $6.00
So upon Elton's direction, we stop for a beverage at the Big Easy Daiquiri spot. I was just going to get a frozen Bellini (it SURE was tasty). Shy's coworker Rob was with us, and it was his birthday too and he was the evil one we were doing patron shots with the night before. So at 3pm I think its a good idea that we do Patron shots. I order the shots, from a gentleman whose name I would later learn is Brandan. Brandan VERY seriously, leans in and says, just so you know, Patron shots are $6.00. As if that was expensive or we wouldn't want them anymore. Shy and my response was "Who you talkin to like that?!?!" Lets just say, we would return to this little bar again.
At the end of the tour I found my way to Cafe Du Mond for some WORLD famous beignets and went past Cheers on the way back to the hotel. My new little friend Orlando, the bouncer from Famous Door was there. I exchanged info with him and then got a stoli for the road.
I headed back out to Bourbon with Rick, Dee and Shy for dinner, and on the way, we went BACK to Cheers for shots, etc. We ended up at the Gumbo Shop for dinner - my red beans and rice were ON POINT!
360: kick, push and coast...
The ladies official birthday party was at a club - 360 - in the World Trade Center. The club was a BIG circle on top of the building with great views of the city. Please note, I love O - I even wore a dress for her. We got the DJ to play our FAMILAY song - Kick, and Push and COASTTTTTTTTTT. I can't even explain WHY that is the familay song, other than I blame Lorenzo. The night was a BLAST! Our group took over the dance floor, danced on couches and did shots. Sidenote: I don't know WHOSE idea it was to do them damn GM shots, but I hate that person's entire existence. After the club, Shy, Rick, Dee and myself went and got some MUCH needed pizza. Shy of course LOVES to be disqualified and did two shots of Soco by her damn SELF. Ilk. I THINK we stopped past Cheers on the way to the hotel, but I can't really be certain.
The Court of Two Sisters
It truly is perfect that we went to this historic restaurant for Brunch on Sunday. Dawn and O are two beautiful women that have a bond that blood sisters wish they had. And the ladies were surrounded by loved ones. The group got together one last time and enjoyed a wonderful meal and even better company.
Sunday afternoon Shenanigans
After brunch, I joined Shy at the hotel's pool for a little bit more sun. After the sun started playing hide and go seek with us, we made our way our to Bourbon Street for Muffalettas (that joint was BANGIN!
We did some light shopping - y'all like my beads? And we found ourselves some hand grenades and then headed to the hotel to get ready for what we THOUGHT was going to be our quiet evening out.
Dwele and Disqualification: a Sunday night story.
We stopped past Cheers to get a shot and a drink for the road on the way to the House of Blues to see Dwele. Once we ate and got in the club, we all had 2 shots of Patron and 2 Drinks. The show was nice and we got to see our friend J one more time....after the show we hit Bourbon for a slice and to visit my bouncer friend. Bourbon street was light, Rob went to sleep, Wins went to find some trouble, so Shy and I made our way down to the Big Easy - home of the $6 patron shots. I did not have the ability to take ANYMORE Patron. Shy, however is a soldier. She did another shot or two and I ordered another tasty frosty beverage. And that's where it gets a little bit fuzzy. You see, we befriended the bartenders - the aforementioned Brandan and Anthony. And somehow, Shy and I drank an entire bottle of Black Cherry Cruzan Rum. We didn't pay for anything. Orlando came by to sit and watch us drink, Wins popped in and out. He had some, uh, things going on that aren't meant for my little blog. Uncles Anthony and Brandan kept the locals away from us (bless their lil too much Lil Wayne Hearts). Shy and I were the EPITOME of disqualified.
When the bar closed-don't ask me what time, I had NO concept of time at this point- Wins scooped us and we walked back to the hotel, saw some SIGHTS, and went to - you GUESSED IT! Cheers. At this point, Wins tapped out and went back to the hotel. Shy and I kept on drinking *sigh*. Everything goes from fuzzy to TV snow screen at this point. I stumbled back into the hotel packed, slept for an HOUR and went to the airport.

We finally all made it back to our respective homes on Monday. We had a GREAT time and can't wait to go back. I love being out of town with my fam (note, I did not say traveling with - see part 1 if you don't remember why) and would go away with this group again and again....some of us are heading to Miami in less than 2 weeks! I'm not sure that trip can top this one - but I know we will DAMN sure try!

Some People Play Too Much, A Midsummer Night's Tale...

Its hot as hell, and people are playing way too MUCH!

1. The airlines are charging you to check your luggage. Seriously? Do you get a refund if that shit doesn't get there when its supposed to? The airlines CLEARLY play too much.

2. Jesse Jackson needs to have a seat. If you think his recent shenanigans don't tarnish his image, you play too much.

2a. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, YOU play too much.

3. Brett Favre wants to play football, again. Brett, seriously, make a FAWKING decision and stop playing so much. Better yet, don't play at all. STAY RETIRED.

4. Text Message Contracting/Real Talk? Is THIS whats hot in the streets? First Elton Brand, then Brett Favre. Seriously? Major life decisions are communicated via text messages? Whats Next? "Will U Marry Me :-)?" Stop playing SO much.

5. John McCain thinks Czechoslovakia is still a country. Oh John, please take your medication and stop PLAYING SO MUCH!

5a. See 2a.

6. Wade Boggs *eyeroll* Seriously, a Yankees hat at the All star game? Is that how you wanna play it? You play too much if you think Sox fans will forget this.

7. Fake Shoos are NOT OKAY! I don't care what you do to rationalize it, they are not OKAY! And if I can spot your fake Mongolian dunks from across the room, you play too much.

8. Its July, its hot as hell. Why are you STILL wearing sweaters to the club. I love you, but you play too much.

Real friends

A conversation with one of my bestest this afternoon has got me thinking...there are certain things real friends do for you, and you would do for your real friends...that just don't happen with an acquaintance or someone that isn't your bestest...

A real friend lets you get so drunk that you end up in a club's Detox room, during the friend's homecoming, and they babysit you all night. And they never rub it in your face.

A real friend would push your ex down some steps, because it would be wrong if you did it.

A real friend doesn't let you get in trouble, they get in trouble with you.

A real friend doesn't hold how you met them, against you.

A real friend will scour a night club for your missing shoe.

A real friend will let you make your own decisions, and will be there to pick up the pieces when you make the wrong one. And never say I told you so.

A real friend will check you, even if that means your attitude will suck for a few days.

A real friend won't judge you, even if everyone else is.

A real friend can tell you to calm down, and you will. If someone else says it, it gets worse.

There are many more...but these are on my mind, right now.

Updates and other assorted news...

Its time for some updates on my favorite blog topics....

1. The Ex Factor - 3 Babies by 3 Different Women

He is STILL popping up. *sigh* Last time I discussed him, he was trying to make it work with baby mama #3. Well, low and behold, they didn't last (surprised? I'm not). The good news is, he hasn't gotten any one else pregnant. The bad news? He won't stop calling me.
I made the mistake of texting him a happy father's day. Since then, I haven't been able to shake him.
I recently was home (that's DC, for those of you in the cheap seats) and he knew I would be there. I was in town for a dear friend's birthday cookout and ended up with a full slate of activities. Well, apparently, he thought me being in town somehow meant he would get to see me and we would spend time together . Clearly, we didn't agree on the meaning. So imagine my surprise when I'm sitting on the airplane, on the runway, 2 hours delayed and less than pleased, when he calls and says hes planned an outing to a museum for Saturday . Wait, what? Why are you planning dates? Why would you think I want to date you? Especially given your 3 baby mamas and 3 kids (one of whom was conceived while he and I were still together). I had to put an end to his shenanigans. Unfortunately, he's still playing too much and calling trying to stroll down memory lane. Boy, BYE!

2. The one that got away, that doesn't stick around but doesn't ever disappear, either.

So the last time I wrote about J it was February and we promised to try to make it work. Well, we tried, for another two months and then, surprise, surprise he fell off the face of the earth again. I wasn't hardly surprised and pretty much just let him go. I wasn't about to chase him, again.
Well, lookey here, I start liking someone and here he comes, OWT of the blue. Surprised? I wasn't. I swear he has some sort of happiness homing device on me, and when it appears I'm approaching a certain level of happiness and contentment, he shows up. I returned his call with a voice mail - of course he didn't answer, that would be too easy. A few texts were exchanged until I asked - so, what prompted your most recent disappearing act? Now, silence. Perhaps its for the best. I'm not sure I trust my reaction to him or his ability to weasel his way back into my life.

3. Yeah, I like someone. Mind your business.

4. Friends, How many of us have them?
I haven't spoken on this since the end of last summer. I really thought things were getting better, but alas, its that time of year again. I am still having the same issues, with the same people. I need to go ahead and work up the nerve to tell them that I need to separate myself from them and that my relationship with them is not healthy or productive for me. But I know, in my heart of hearts, they are genuinely good people...its just that they aren't doing good, for whatever reason and that's what makes this SO difficult. They say misery loves company, and I'm trying to NOT get sucked in too. Its HARD to tell someone you love them, but they are no good for you.

5. People are still playing ENTIRELY too much.
I don't know what else to say about this, except that its time for another volume of the some people play too much chronicles. Stay tuned.

MIS-informed

*begin rant*

So I'm watching NBC Nightly News tonight (its still not the same without Tom Brokaw, Brian Williams doesn't have that same swag) and all of a sudden they show that lil girl Jon Benet Ramsay.
This little girl was sadly killed in 1996. I do not want to take anything away from her tragic death, however, we need to talk about this.

This little girl was killed TWELVE YEARS AGO. Wait, let me be more specific. This little WHITE, AFFLUENT girl was killed 12 years ago. Have you any idea how many nameless, faceless children have gone missing since 1996? Or how many of them were minorities? We don't hear about them on the NATIONAL news 12 years later.

While her death was certainly tragic, I'm willing to bet a child died or went missing this week that we won't hear about. Anyone want to venture a guess as to their demographic? I was speechless after the segment. My mother asked me what was wrong and I went OFF - this "news" coverage was ABSOLUTE garbage. I certainly don't care that they've ruled out, again, her parents as the killers. Great. But what about other kids?

*end rant*

Some People Play Too Much, the Welcome Back Edition...

My recent absence is NOT indicative of people having stopped playing too much. In fact recent weeks have shown me, that people are, in fact, playing too much at ALARMING rates.

1. Ladies. If you so choose to wear FAKE hair of any sort or fashion, please for the love of all things silky, wear ENOUGH of it, in the right shade. Two tracks are NOT enough, even if you doubled how many you wore last year. If you think no one noticed your tracks, you play too much.

2. Money is NOT swagger. And furthermore, trying to attract women with money at an ALL inclusive resort means you play too much. What do you need money for at an ALL inclusive resort?!?!

3. If you go to a man's home or hotel room or other domicile at 330am and you aren't related to him, and don't think he's trying to hit that, you play too much.

4. Please, I implore you, STOP doubting my sports knowledge. If you think you know more than me about MY teams, you play too much.

5. Ladies, if you alienate MOST of the people in your life, at some point its time to look in the mirror and realize that the common denominator is YOU. Stop playing all your life and embrace reality.

6. The 2008 NBA Finals made it PAINFULLY obvious that Kobe Bryant is NO Michael Jordan, if you think otherwise, you play too much.

7. Ladies, its summertime get your toes done and stop playing so much.

8. Gentlemen, its summertime, dusty air force ones tell me two things: you're cheap and you play too much.

Welcome Back!

Ok, it's been a minute...
ok, its been a few minutes.
But I'm BACK and have SO much to say!!

Lemme start with Danny Ainge...

Dear Danny,
I am so sorry I doubted you and judged you based on Sebastian Telfair and Employee #8. I'm sorry I doubted PJ Brown and Sam Cassell. I'm sorry I blamed you for the # 5 pick in the draft.

I was, *gulp* wrong.

Thank you for bringing in Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett and giving us the big three.












Thank you for James Posey (even though I still hate him and his Xavier roots. GW baby!) and thank you for my new love, Rajon Rondo.

Thank you for assembling the team that would make Red Auerbach proud. They Beat L.A. and prohibited Phil Jackson from surpassing Red's mark of 9 nba titles.

I come to you, celtics hat in hand, and apologize for cursing your entire existence and threatening to drown you in the Charles for all of your dumb ass decisions before Kay Gee and Jesus Shuttlesworth got here. You, in fact, do not play too much.

With Sincerest Apologies,

Tracie



P.S. I reserve the right to revoke this apology at any time.

Some People Play Too Much...

Well, well, well...

People are still playing WAY too much...

1. "I just want a chance to be able to win and get back to the Super Bowl," Samuel said. "That's why I picked the Philadelphia Eagles."
Asante. (c)
When was the last time the eagles won ANYTHING? Happy trails, don't let the door hit you on your ass on your way out and you play ENTIRELY too much.

2. The Celtics just came off a losing streak....hey you there, that thought Danny Ainge is a genius....
wait a minute...not so fast ....I haven't forgotten about employee #8 and sebastian telfair...and if you think I have...you play too much.

3. PJ Brown. This is why Danny Ainge plays too much.

4. Why all of a sudden is Ciroc vodka in every hip hop video? Do these rappers and video producers and set directors think Ciroc is a new phenomenon? My crew has been enjoying the grapety goodness (c) since before Dave Chappelle was hollering "DYLAN...DYLAN...DYLAN". These people play too much.

5. Whoever said wrap dresses are for every woman clearly doesn't have hips and plays too much.

I hate....

[Rihanna:]
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Most everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

[Ne-Yo:]
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

[Rihanna:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)

[Ne-Yo:]
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

[Rihanna:]
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

[Ne-Yo:]
Yeaahhh... Oohh...

[Rihanna:]
That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)
That's how much I need you (oooh..)
That's how much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so...

My brother is ALWAYS sharing some knowledge...

"Leo men aren't nuts...they just drive women nuts."

mm.

He's always on point!

So why are you single, he asks...

This was triggered by a convo I had with J and Onya's myspace blog...

So he asks me whats up with me...and more to the point, why I'm single...there could be so MANY answers, but after thinking about it a little bit more, a lot of those answers are connected to him, in some form or fashion...

I'm stealing these from Onya...
-I can be high maintenance and moody without apologies or notice
-He wanted to be THE man instead of A man
-I like to see who he is when the "representative" goes away
-Neither of us wanted to give in first
-He didn't think I was enough
-I knew I was
-He was a coward and left with no notice or explanation
-I technically can't date his friends
-He picked women who didn't expect much
-I wanted and needed him to be a man
-Actions speak louder than words and he was lazy and loquacious
-I keep picking the wrong ones (my friends pointed this one out)
-Even when he was there, he wasn't
-I knew him better than he thought I did and that freaked him out

first of all...ONYA was RIGHT on with these reasons above...and they apply to me and my situation and more specifically... J...

I'm single because every time he comes calling, I'm available, in spite of everything listed above. He has this special place in my heart that grants him "Jordan status" on my squad (forgive the cliche bball analogy, but, its spot on). You see Jordan is the player that can retire but make a comeback at ANY time.

I'm single because I love hard, and fast and fall out of love even harder and faster, except when it came to him. There were others that I was able to just cut out, like it was nothing, just put them on a shelf, never to be seen again. But not J. Even through the years I didn't speak to him, he wasn't far from my thoughts. An innocent conversation about college, the team, the good old days would easily bring him back to the fore front of my mind, and have my mental slightly askew for a week, sometimes longer.

I'm single because I've always known the man he could be, if he stopped putting his "representative" out there. Maybe because I've always known him better than he thought I did and understood him in a way no one else really could.

But the fact of the matter is, he still left and no one else that followed him, was him.

that one that got away...that won't stay gone...

The saga continues...

After feeling stupid about J's most recent disappearing act, he appeared again, somewhat out of the blue...

First...a little synopsis of the happening since my last J sighting...
Apparently, his phone was broken, and that's why I couldn't get in touch with him. He did change his voicemail to say this, which made me feel a little bit better, but he never did call back after I left a message. So, I was still upset, but resolved that he was just being him, following the same pattern that I've known for the past 10 years. Yep, it will have been 10 years...in April.

Finally, I get a call on Thursday....guess who?

All of my anger melted away, it was like I just forgot that he disappeared again. And as usual we picked back up like nothing happened. I was shocked when he told me he had tried to hunt down my contact info. He is NOT the type of guy to do that, not the type to let anyone really know his business, and certainly not the type to deal with the questions that would surely come from that sort of hunting.

We talked about what was going on in his life, and he opened up to me. This wasn't something new, us talking about private matters, but generally J only shared facts, we rarely got into the whys and hows and CERTAINLY not the feelings behind things. But this time was different. He told me one of his friends, from the old neighborhood, had recently taken his own life and it impacted him in a way I had never seen before. He opened up in a new way. We talked about loss and pain and depression and how we, specifically, deal with these things differently, he finally admitted what I've know for the longest time -he withdraws when he is upset and sometimes that borders on depression. I felt a sense of relief, partly because his withdrawals had a lot less to do with me than I feared and more importantly, because he recognized what he was doing and feeling.

We spoke about the decisions we both made in our lives and how those decisions impacted our futures - both as individuals and as a unit. He then said something that took my breath away. He said the decision he made to leave dc when he lost his campus housing, rather than staying with me and finishing school was the biggest mistake that he had ever made. WOW. I was speechless (only for a minute though). I have often wondered what would have happened if he had decided to stay with me. We would have moved in together, as friends, of course, but I'm pretty sure he would have only slept on the futon for so long. And then what would have happened...

But that will forever just be a what if, because that didn't happen. What did happen is that we grew apart and now have just recently found each other again.

I have my own regrets, too. I wish I would have let my ex go when J got into trouble, not just because I wanted J to stay with me and finish his education, but because he was not good for me. If I had escaped that relationship my life would have certainly taken a different route.

So the conversation ended with a promise to see each other in the next two weeks. I guess we'll see if he's the one that got away, or the one that got me.

Dance with My Father Again - Luther Vandross

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around ‘til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I’m praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don’t do it usually
But dear Lord she’s dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

Fathers Day 6-18-06

Fathers Day
6-18-06

I should have a corny card for you

And a tie, a shirt, or some other gift you have no use for.

But you would smile graciously and tell me you love it anyway.

Like you’ve done so many years before.

Instead, I’m going to visit you, at the cemetery.

And I will only have my memories and my tears.

Its been a little over four months

But the hole in my heart hasn’t gotten any smaller.

Ever since you first got sick

I just feel as though everything has fallen apart.

Nothing has been quite right

And every time I allow myself to be hopeful that things are getting better

I am faced with another challenge.

Your spirit and your love has been what’s been pulling me through

But on days like today, its so hard here without you.

I just want to be able to sit on the couch with you, watch the Red Sox

And have you tell me its going to be ok.

By the way, they won today, and the Yankees lost.

Every time that happens I smile and think of you.

And that silly grin that would spread across your face

When you would say, “maybe this year.”

I guess the little things like that

Are your father’s day gift to me.

Thank you daddy, I hope you know

a day will never pass without you being on my mind or in my heart.